Ten Years Ago Today I Was Wearing A Dress!
Life doesn’t tell you when you wake up in the morning that this is going to be the day that your life changes forever. There is no email alert, no desktop pop-up, and certainly nothing on your...
View ArticleWhy New York City Used To Scare Me To Death.
There I was, laying on one of those “avenues” or numbered streets, as the blood from my crushed skull pooled up on a manhole cover. My arm was broken in two places, my kneecap busted, and I had...
View ArticleThe Tumbler Theory
In the faded mist of everybody’s adolescent memories exist mythical characters whose deeds and personas only enlarge with the passage of time. Tom Damski is one of those people for me. Tom was an...
View ArticleTouched By Death
You ever think you were dead? Or more clearly put, have you ever thought you were seconds away from dying? I’m not talking about a death that is imminent but still arms length away; everybody has had...
View ArticleI’m Sorry, But Your Child Has 18 Months To Live
Stay with me here for a bit, I want to introduce you to some heroes. “Your child has cancer,” is a phrase no parent wants to hear, but it’s not the worst thing they can hear. “Your child has cancer,...
View ArticleAn Apology To My Young Son
My wife was down the hall crying. There was a lot of blood. And my young son was screaming at the top of his lungs. If there was any way I could have switched places with him at that moment I would...
View ArticleLove And The Markets
I was in love once. Not the deep, mature, soulmate type of love I have now with my wife, but the stupid, obsessive, retarded puppy type love of youth. I was twenty years old, what did I know? I used to...
View ArticleHow To Know When You’ve Had Too Much To Trade
I have a really cool drink for you to try at your next cocktail party. It consists of vodka, gin, tequila, vermouth, peppermint schnaps, creme de menthe, scotch, bourbon, Baily’s Irish creme, Campari,...
View ArticleMy Various Attempts At Killing And Maiming Myself
There are three things that I associate with summer. Eating a bomb pop while it drips down your arm. The smell of cold water on hot asphalt. And the arrival of the “fireworks stand.” I don’t know...
View ArticleInsert Generic Robin Williams Tribute Here
Robin Williams died this week. He’s still dead. It still sucks. And like clockwork, the tributes poured in. The most interesting one came from Jay Thomas. You know Jay. Don’t you? Sure you do....
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